Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home plate is.
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: Because they come back, unlike their parents.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
We all know 6 is scared of 7 because 789, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11...
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they can't call anyone their dad.
Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.
But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.
Why do orphans love playing with boomerangs? Because it always comes back.
So I was just chilling in the World Trade Center, and I got airplane Wi-Fi. I wonder why....
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
