Why jokes
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them, but the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native Americans kill him. They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.
Why is Cinderella white?
Because she is superior.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To help Stephen Hawking cross!
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
Why is Uranus so big? Because you discovered it.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Why did the duck cross over the cave? Because he wasn't a chicken.
IDK, sorry...
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.