Why jokes
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
Why did Steven Hawkins go to hell?
Because he couldn't walk the stairs to heaven.
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife is dead.
Why do ducks have feathers?
So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Seven ate nine!
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there?
Not Susie.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
Why did the butthole get angry?
So it could wipe every human, snipe.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.