Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
Why Jokes
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”
Why can’t he just speak plain English?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
Why though?
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"
The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."
The only hood I like is pointy and white.
That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
