Why jokes
The only hood I like is pointy and white.
That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"
He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!