Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
Why Jokes
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
