Whos jokes
Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?
"Jit was lagging."
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."