Wheres

Wheres jokes

Bullshit

  • Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

    Treon: How did you find that?!

    Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

    Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

    Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

    Treon: We can't!

    Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

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  • Plane

  • Why were the people in 911 devastated?

    They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

    Prince

  • "Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"

    Dad

  • What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

    Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?

    State

  • There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:

    Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.

    Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?

    Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.

    Location

  • Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.

    Police: What is that location?

    Me: I don't know where is dis location.

    Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.

    Me: WTH?

    Police: Ends call.

    Me: Calls hospital.

    Hospital: What is that location?

    Me: I don't know where is dis location.

    Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.

    Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.

    Hospital: Hangs up.

    Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.

    Fire: No fire.

    Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?

    Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.