Wheres

Wheres jokes

Bullying

  • I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

    After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

    Sister

  • There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.

    When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”

    Abortion clinic

  • What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?

    "Where do you keep the cans of paint?"

  • 3
  • Alphabet

  • The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".

  • 0
  • Routine

  • I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.

  • 0
  • Prank

  • Hi guys, the prankster is back!

    I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

    When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

    Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

    Taco

  • Say this when you answer a spam call...

    "Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."

  • 1
  • Story

  • "Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.

    "Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."

    "Where is Timmy now?" I asked.

    Grandma pointed to the campfire.

  • 0
  • Bet

  • A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"

  • 4
  • Time

  • One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

    Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

    Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

    So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

    And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

    Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

    I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

  • 3