When jokes
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!
What time is it when you get home and you can't walk?
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Why did Hellen hate when her dad yelled at her?
Oh wait, she didn’t know! 🤣🤣
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.