When jokes
What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?
"Walrus the remote!"
Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.
What's the difference between a bay and an onion?
I cry when I cut into an onion.
What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
Meow.
Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?
Memes
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.
When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?
Just barely hugging you! Lol.
"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHUT UP!!!
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
What time is it when you get home?
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.
What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.
What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?