When jokes

What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha

What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?

He strained himself.

You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

What did the bee say to the flower?

"Hey bud! When do you open?"

What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?

Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?

You cook spaghetti with his blood!

When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"

What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?

"Freak out!"

What happens when animals do a squat?

It doesn't become pretty...

The patient said, "When will this be over?"

The doctor said, "After you die."

The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"

The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."

The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.

What did the pig say when he was in the sun?

I'm bacon.

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.

They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.