When jokes
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Yo mama so fat, when she went to bed, the house shook.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."