When jokes
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple, it became Sunken Temple.
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
Yo mama so stupid, she hides behind a glass door when playing hide and seek.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."