When jokes
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?
Nothing, he doesn't have any.
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!
When I walk to school, I fart.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.