When jokes

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.

Me: Takes five minutes.

Me: Hun, you done yet?

Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!

Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.

What does an electric-type PokƩmon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?

I’m Zaptos intolerant!

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.

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  • Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

    Students: Hiding under desk.

    Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

    Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

    I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

    Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: ā€œAt least your mom came back!ā€

    The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

    What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

    My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.