When jokes
Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?
They both go "Ping" when they are done.
Who remembers when Gwen was the only thing people talked about on this website?
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.