When jokes
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."
When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."
Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"
Son:...... um
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵