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What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

I like it when girls poop, it's really hot.

I like the big butt orange holes when the brown farter juice comes out of the orange. I like [it] a lot 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑

I get a big weiner when I think about big farting girls.

Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?

Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.

It's not funny, I know.

Why are blinds called blinds?

Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!

When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.

When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.

Yo mama so fat, when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete laughed up.

Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?

When they're on their backs, they're screwed.