When jokes
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."
The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.
Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.
When I was very young...
My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.
They are rapists now.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?
A bullet.