When jokes
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?
A bullet.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
Yo mama sooooooo fucking fat, when she takes a step, she needs a 5-min break.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
When red do be sus, though.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
What's in a man's mouth when he realizes he's gay?
A dick.
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."