When jokes
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
I got jealous when my phone dies.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?
"An RC-XD!"
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!
When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.