When jokes
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
Family photo.
What is it called when orphans take a selfie?
A family photo.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
When do Americans answer their door?
Once freedom rings! ❤️🤍💙
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
When the nlgga is farting!!!
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat a whole species went extinct.
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."
Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."