When jokes

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

Where do orphans go when sad?

Not their parents.

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!

What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."

You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you.

That face needing some laughing pills.

What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.

How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?

Butter.

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..

They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.