When jokes
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.
Warning! Cringe Alert!
What happens when you leave your phone at jail?
It becomes a cell phone.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
I suck Cyrus's dick when he is sleeping.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.