When jokes
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).
What do you call it when Panera is over?
Panera end.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
Why was the orphan so successful? Because when they were told “go big or go home,” they only had one option.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking when you slap it.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.