When jokes

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.

A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.

When you're in a cage But it's not real!

Being in a cage But you have the key.

Being in a cage But nobody sees you.

Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.

Living and realizing you've been born into one.

Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.

But you can't live without them.

The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.

What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!

Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.

When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,

You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?

A firecracker.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.

1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?

2) Where did all the orphans go?

PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!