When jokes

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.

Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

When your friends [are] talking about sports:

Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁

Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱

Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.

What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?

9:11 AM

Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.

You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.