Whats jokes
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
Memes
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?
H2O cubed.
What's the difference between Mexicans and stoners? Stoners actually have papers.
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trom-bone 😂
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs ;)
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.