Whats jokes
What's harder than steel?
Michel Jackson in an orphanage.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
What joke do you tell an orphan?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not your parents.
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?
H2O cubed.