Whats jokes
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
What do you call an emo filming their suicide?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
They knew what they were doing
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
What's harder than steel?
Michel Jackson in an orphanage.
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking hot body?
Cremation.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.