Whats jokes
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Memes
Does everybody agree that this is correct or just me?
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?
H2O cubed.
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trom-bone 😂
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs ;)
What's the difference between Mexicans and stoners? Stoners actually have papers.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something.