What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Whats Jokes
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
What joke do you tell an orphan?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not your parents.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
