Whats jokes
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
what is the fastest country? iran.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.