Whats jokes
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
What do you call an emo filming their suicide?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.