Whats jokes

What's yellow but can't swim?

A bus full of children.

What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?

Ginger! You racist fuc-

Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?

Me: Nah, not really.

Friend: What did they feel like?

Me: 7th grade.

Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨

What's harder than steel?

Michel Jackson in an orphanage.

A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?

His lawnmower.

What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?

They both have no way home!

What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.

What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.

A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.

So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"

The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"

The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."

What joke do you tell an orphan?

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Not your parents.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"

His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."

A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"

What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.

Them: You want some Lucky Harms?

Me: What are Lucky Harms?

Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don't get them!

What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."

What's red and in a corner?

A baby with a razor blade.

What's green and in a corner?

The same baby three weeks later.

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."

What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

FIRST DATE

Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."