Whats jokes

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?

At least Hitler actually did something.

What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?

Children.

What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?

"They see me rolling, they hatin'."

Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?

A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.

What caused Captain Hook's death?

He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.

What do you call an emo filming their suicide?

America's Funniest Home Videos.

What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?

UNPROTECTED SEX.

What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?

Rrrrrapeit!

What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?

The Windows shutdown sound plays.

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.

A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.

What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?

SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.

What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes.

What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.

What planet did Hitler hate the most?

Jewpiter.