Whats jokes
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
Memes
What do you have your head up your a-
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? "Going Home."
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
What screams I’m insecure?