What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
Whats Jokes
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!
