Whats jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
What is a Irish 💋 😗 kiss 💋 a blowjob from a gay Irishman
What's the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal