Whats jokes
My mom told me to get a job, so I did.
One day my mom saw me, I had money. My mom asked me where did you get that money? My mom asked me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom asked me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the guys come and see you one by one, and I get paid for it.
My mom said you're growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see you in the shower.
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.
What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?
The Hunger Games!
What did the orphan want for Christmas?
Parents.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What do you call a blind Nazi?
A Not-See!
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
What do you call an orphan at the dinner table?
Family dinner!
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.