Whats jokes
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
What is anonymous 🤔 oral masturbation? the politically correct word for anonymous gay fellatio from a 🕳 glory hole inside a 📖 adult book store
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.