Whats jokes

What is anonymous 🤔 oral masturbation? the politically correct word for anonymous gay fellatio from a 🕳 glory hole inside a 📖 adult book store

What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

What does BLM stand for?

Bisexual Lives Matter.

What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?

Drool.

Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?

A: The homepage.

What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?

Not Sally.

What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?

An ambulance.

What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?

A baby in a blender.

What kind of bees make milk?

BooBees.

What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

The fish can swim.

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.

What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.

What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.

The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.

The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.

And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.