Whats jokes
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
Memes
Me when I see a bug flying my way " Omg what is that " lmao
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
What is a Irish 💋 😗 kiss 💋 a blowjob from a gay Irishman
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What's the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.