Whats jokes

What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?

Udder destruction.

What do you call a dead parrot?

Polygon.

What do you call a Mexican Baptism?

Bean Dip.

I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?

“Hang in there!”

What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉

What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.

What's the best haircut?

Chemotherapy.

What's the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you stick the cucumber.

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer.

What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

What's the darkest point in the universe?

The inside of a KFC.

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

What do you do when you see a sad orphan?

Nothing, let them wait for their parents.

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.