Whats jokes
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?
Silicon Valley.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?
They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
Family photo.
What is burned dark and glued to the wall?
A bad electrician.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."