Whats jokes

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!

What do penguins wear on their heads?

Snow caps!

I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.

Because that's what I want.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

What do you call a pig in a blanket?

My wife on a cold day.

Teacher: What does the pig's skin do?

Student: It keeps pig skin together! 😂

Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.

What is your name? What am I pointing at? 👃🏽 And what am I holding? Hahaha!!!!! Knows nothing.

Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.

What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!

What is an Emo's favorite movie?

"Suicide Squad."

What did the sushi say to the bee?

Wa sa Bee.

Interviewer: What are your strengths?

Interviewee: I fall in love easily.

Interviewer: And your weaknesses?

Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...

What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?

A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.

"Hi Koko, you said we met a few years ago. What is your real name? Lol."

What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?

What's the difference between Elton John and rapboat?

Elton is talented, rich, and openly gay. Rapboat got fuck all talent, no money, and is not out of the closet yet.

What's the difference between a car and a car?

I have absolutely no idea, sorry.

What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?

Hug his parents.