Whats jokes
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
Memes
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."