Whats jokes
What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
Memes
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
What do you call a bunch of bald paki in a swimming pool? Coco pops.
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait.
Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?
A: A rocket chip.
Roses are red, My c0ck is blue, Oh shit, what happened to you?
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.