Whats jokes

What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?

What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?

A Corgi Potty.

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?

"Alcohol, you later!"

What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?

It left him hanging.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

Why did orphans want to commit a crime?

Because they wanted to see what it feels like to be wanted.

Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.

So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."

"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.

What's bright red and screams when you shake it? A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

Today my idiot brother screamed, "Ahhhhh, I'm dead!" But it wasn't really, so I decided to make it a reality until my sister came...

AND HELPED ME! - for once, but then two minutes later my mom showed up. We killed him right in front of her, and she screamed! "Donuts and pizza for you and more if you go to Mrs. Roberts' house and say hi and bye to Daddy!!!!!" And she hands us both a sharp tool, and I say, "What about Tommy??!!! Aren't you MAD!!!!!!!" Then she replied, "Who's THAT!!??? Coz he ain't mine. His name is Tommy, Tommy Roberts."

So then me and my sister visit Mrs. Roberts, and she said, "Oh, this isn't anything important. Go home!" So then my sister and I say hi! and do a countdown. After that my Nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR, MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL! 😊😊😊 But then the police question us where daddy was, so then Mom said....................... oh he's moved on! So then the police officer was like, "Ahem, ma'm where!" SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either🧐 i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................

ok like for part two☺☺☺

What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?

A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?

What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?

Magic Johnson.

Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?

What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.

What kind of nut hates baseball? A nut that’s sick.

What did Sally get for Easter?..

Nail polish.