Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They're both pointless.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
i was in cooking class and my teacher said - does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?
me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
long story short the teacher understood the joke and now we are both in daily therapy 😭💀
Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount
what do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
they both hang from trees
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
whats black blue and red laying in ditch you after you disrespect me
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says "what about the children" the rabbi says "fuck the children" and the Priest says "do you think we'll have time
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician? panhandler
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
