What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
Whats Jokes
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
