Whats jokes
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.