Whats jokes
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.