Whats jokes
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
Me seeing a little girl crying
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled kids.
What is stronger than family?
The tree Paul Walker hit.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.