Whats

Whats jokes

Carving

I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.

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  • Autopsy

    A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"

    Memes

    Pedophile

    Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.

    Morbid humor

    What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

    Rope

    What did the rope say to me?

    "Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"

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  • Hunter

    Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”

    Donut

    If you were a food, what would you be?

    Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."

    Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."

    Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."

    Lamborghini

    What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?

    I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

    911

    All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.