Whats jokes
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two, now they're a sensitive topic.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
What's an orphan's favorite Spiderman movie?
"Spiderman: No Way Home."
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."