Whats jokes
*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.
What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.
What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.
What's the most played game in Africa? Hunger Games.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two, now they're a sensitive topic.
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
What's an orphan's favorite Spiderman movie?
"Spiderman: No Way Home."
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."