Whats jokes
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
What is Lizzo?
Big, fat, and ugly.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What's a rapper's favorite insect?
Rhy-mosquito.
What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
What is God’s favorite candy?
Jesus Pieces.
What’s the opposite of poo?
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them, but the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native Americans kill him. They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.