Whats jokes
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
Memes
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
What's life if you don't have one...
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.