Whats jokes
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
What do you call a group of emo kids?
The suicide squad.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns?
He, he.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
What TV shows do orphans not like?
"Family Guy."
What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!