Whats jokes
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
Name the emojis, and if you do, then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis! Type in the comment section.
1. π What's this emoji meaning? 2. π What's this emoji meaning? 3. π What's this emoji meaning? 4. π What's this emoji meaning? 5. π What's this emoji meaning? 6. π What's this emoji meaning? 7. π§ What's this emoji meaning? 8. π What's this emoji meaning? 9. π³ What's this emoji meaning? 10. π What's this emoji meaning? 11. π°π¨ What's this emoji meaning? 12. π What's this emoji meaning? 13. π¬ What's this emoji meaning? 14. π€π£ What's this emoji meaning? 15. π¦π₯Ί What's this emoji meaning?
The winner who will win will be getting 900/900 points!
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
Memes
What have we humans come to?
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
βA sped runner.β
What is black and white and red all over? An exploding zebra!
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! π
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
What did the cow say to the sheep?
βMoo!β
What did the sheep say to the cow?
βThat was a bad joke!β
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.