Whats jokes
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
What is Thanos's favorite video game?
Pokémon Snap.
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
lmao
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?
My brother didn’t beat cancer.
What's the difference between an orphan and Spider-Man?
There's no way home.