Whats jokes

What do orphans call a selfie?

A family photo.

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.

What kind of dogs do miners like best?

Golden retrievers, haha, get it?

What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?

The average IQ increases in both places.

What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!

What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?

His teeth.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked.

What did the emo say before he crossed the road?

"Fuck my life."

What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?

Frostbite!

What do you call an egg murder?

An eggs-terminator!

Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?

A. Denephew.

What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?

The Furred Reich.

What did one saggy boob say to the other?

"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"

What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?

They both kidnap Canadian women!

What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.

What did the angry cow say to its enemy?

"We have beef!"

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.