Whats jokes
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1
Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.
Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)
Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.
Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)
Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.
Mom: But what he did was wrong.
Girl: I know.
(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)
Mom: Is that ur dad.
Girl: Yes Mom
Comment Part 2
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ!
What instrument can a skeleton play? A Trombone!
Q: What did Tim say when his girlfriend fell down a rabbit hole?
A: Hole-y shit!
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!