Whats jokes
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
Memes
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy.
What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?
There’s no way home.
What's the difference between a cactus and a school bus?
On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.