Whats jokes
What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?
Bi-Polar.
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
What's a benefit of being an orphan? The chips always come in a family size :)
What do orphans call a family photo? A selfie.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
What do you call a dwarf with autism? Matthew Michal?
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?
I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?