Whats jokes
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
Memes
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.