Whats jokes

What do you call a decapitated politician?

A severed head of state.

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?

They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."

What kind of family pictures do orphans take?

Selfies!!

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well, according to my mom, I am.

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of kids.

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

What's a fish's least favorite instrument?

A ClariNET!

What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.

What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"

So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.

What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?

A chill pill.

What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?

Others: R.

Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.

What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)