Whats jokes
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.
What kind of family pictures do orphans take?
Selfies!!
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.