Whats

Whats jokes

Church

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.

9/11

What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?

We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.

School

What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?

When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

Memes

Lawyer

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

Wall

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

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  • Climate Change

    What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?

    Funeral

    What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

    Difference

    What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

    The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."

    Mosquito

    What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

    A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

    women's rights

    I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."

    Woman

    What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

    Coming out

    A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

    Skinny

    Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?

    My friend: Chunky dunks.

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  • Butcher

    *on a date*

    me - "I get to work with animals all day."

    her - "How sweet! What do you do?"

    me - "I'm a butcher."

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