What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral
The corpse
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said you are what you eat. He then proceeded to run away from me.
Teacher:what does the pig give us Student: bacon Teacher: very good how about the chicken? Student: meat Teacher: good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: homework
what does Stephen hawking have in common with a bull ? they both charge
what do you call a depressed emo ,dead
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely? Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
What is killing your friend called? a homie-side
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler
How much did the haulla-cost
What did the hiroshima survivor say about the day little boy dropped? It was a blast
Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: your both!
Girlfriend: what do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A:How do you breathe through that little thing?
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: 'You might want to sit down for this.'
whats one thing gay people can't draw? a straight line.
Whats long and black? The line at KFC
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
